Movies Are Real!

I know that many of us watch movies and TV shows. We always love to entertain ourselves with the elephant in the room - the story - and yet we do not ask ourselves the most obvious of questions: "what is this room?". What is a movie? What exactly are we watching when go to the cinemas or subscribe to Netflix?

Well, my friends, I am here to burden your minds with THE theory that is gonna change what you know about movies. Let's break it down.

1. A movie is not an act. It is a glimpse into a reality as it happens.

There it is. Now before you shake your head in disbelief and accidentally spill that coffee I suggest you take a moment to process this. Take a moment.

Now, a movie is a reality the same way those YouTube videos are simply glimpses of our reality. But this further raises another question: whose reality are we watching? We all know Keifer Sutherland, right? We know he has never worked for the COUNTER TERRORIST UNIT (CTU) in his life because it doesn't even exist in this reality. Right? But now who's JACK BAUER? The names are different I know but just think about it. I know for a fact that in my reality Kiefer he's a movie star. So where does Jack Bauer exist? See where I'm going with this? He exists in another reality, a reality where he didn't want to work at his father's company and chose to enlist in the army. Jack, a version of Kiefer, exists in a reality where his loved ones pay the price for every decision he makes because of his job. We can see that it is undoubtedly the same person in likeness however they exist in separate realities living different lives bearing different names. They are different versions of the same person. But how could this be?

It does not stop there. This is true for each and every movie that each and every one of us has ever watched. What I mean is: one person appearing in multiple unrelated movies could possibly translate to multiple versions of the same man in multiple different realities, having different names. I mean how could we not see it back then when a movie tried to open our eyes about this? If you have never seen this movie then I'll do a run down for you. I'm obviously talking about THE LAST ACTION HERO. 

The short version is a young boy is watching a movie about a Los Angeles cop Jack Slater, and spoiler alert this is Arnold Schwartznegger's version of himself in another reality! Anyway a bomb gets thrown into the theater from the movie and the boy gets blasted into said movie. Upon realizing that, the boy tried everything to point out that they were in a movie, and that whatever they were doing was just a script and that everything about their life, even themselves, was a lie. I really applaud the young boy for his efforts even though deaf ears heard nothing. The boy was in a different reality. The movie itself was a different reality. When he was watching that movie, he was watching a glimpse of another reality and then he got blasted into it. I recommend you watch the movie to understand way I'm talking about. And when you do, then you'll know that the boy wasn't just blasted into the movie, he jumped realities to one where everything just works out for the good guys as it should. So the movie ends when Jack Slater had been shot in this reality and was about to die, but he returned to his reality and the fatal bullet just turned out to be a flesh wound. Talk about happy endings.

Now I'm not saying that I can tell the difference, with 100% certainty, in which reality an event is taking place. By now there are multiple realities out there, and each movie that we continue to see is either elaborating more on a reality we live in, or one that we have seen in another movie, or a totally different reality that we have never seen before. Some movies - prequels, sequels and trilogies - may very well be glimpses of the same reality. So as you can see all the movies that you've seen, those realities are vastly open to interpretation. This reality may very well be the one where Hell freezes over or the Terminators take over. The reason why they haven't already could be maybe Kyle Reese succeeded in warning the US govt about the future. In any case just be glad you have seen these events in movies not in your neighborhoods.

On this post we ranked spies according to their discretion when conducting their operations. And the winner of that tightly contested showdown was the spy who was least known in the world. The vast number of movies, or should I say the footage, of 007 clearly undermine him as the ultimate spy simply because he's been caught on the job by cameras too many times for his identity to be secret from the public. But then again in his reality most may not even know that he exist because they are not the ones glimpsing into his reality.

We have covered what movies are. They are glimpses of a reality, either in real time or a collection of surveillance footage for this or any other reality. But this only covers the first part of the theory. But who creates these realities? The answer isn't as surprising as you might think.

2. Scripts are simply preprogrammed life choices that help create the simulated reality. Oblivious to the fact that shooting a movie creates that reality, we continue to do so because we all think it's an act.

Yet we saw that Jack Slater really lost his kid when the movie writers decided to script that part into his life. And on top of that Jack Slater saw himself face to face with the person who was 'responsible' for his child's death, Arnold Schwartznegger, the person who decided to star in the movie. Had the movie not been created, Jack wouldn't have existed and he wouldn't have had to see his son die in the hands of the bad guys. Truly if you take a step back to analyse this then you would see how much hurt we cause everyday to the realities that we create for our own amusement. 

Believe me when we say: someday, there's gonna be hell to pay.

Director Nick Fury - The Ultimate Spy?

I'm sure no one has asked this question before so please allow me. Is NICK FURY the greatest SPY who ever lived? Is he the ULTIMATE SPY? If so, why? And also is he what other spies wish to be?

I know. I can actually hear you scream-typing down at the comment section below that he doesn't even deserve to be in the contest  the same way a first grader doesn't. And as much as you think I'm biased towards Nick you are probably right. But I hate to pull rank. And also just hear me out before you judge my crazy theory.

I will answer those rhetorical questions later, but first let's look at some other spies we have seen over the years and establish a list of qualities and differences that they have between each other.

We all have heard of spies and have even watched SPY movies like JAMES BOND, MICHAEL WESTEN or, um, whichever movie you are thinking  of right now. Believe me I have greatly followed the 007 franchise: straight from the comedy-filled “classic era" of Roger Moore, Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan, down to the cold, heartless era of Daniel Craig.

Now JAMES BOND, or 007, is the TITLE of a very deadly, highly trained INTELLIGENCE officer in the 00 programme within the M.I.6 and the TITLE has been passed down from one 007 to another for over 40 years. He's highly skilled in penetrating hotspots and eliminating targets thanks to the LICENCE TO KILL. But this does not prevent him from cracking the occasional jokes with his enemies and giving women the night of their lives, right before he finds out they are part of the whole plot as well. We all know him so I am not going to dwell much on him. So let's move on.

MICHAEL WESTEN, former CIA operative, is the second spy we will look at. He is the best covert operative the CIA has ever produced. He has definitely been around the world making a name for himself as the CIA most dangerous SPY. The GRU knew him as the BOOGEYMAN as he always left a man alive to tell everyone because, well dah, DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES ain't that right JACK SPARROW? Oh, and not to sound like a know-it-all but that's common sense 101. Now as usual he makes enemies all around the world due to the covert nature of his activities. We are introduced to MICHAEL WESTEN in 2007, the year he got burned. He was framed by a SECRET organization that existed inside the CIA, the organization that burned spies in order to recruit them for rogue, unsanctioned missions. He was branded a very dangerous,  rogue CIA covert operative who had to be “eliminated”. But ultimately, after three years he finally tears down the organization that burned him, and all this cost him his mother, brother and his life as a free private citizen. Of all the spies that we are talking about here, he's the one who grew a conscious and preferred not to kill if he did or didn't have to.

 Now like MICHAEL WESTEN of the CIA, STERLING ARCHER of the INTERNATIONAL SECRET INTELLIGENCE SERVICE is also seen as the world's most dangerous SPY and trust me when I say that's not his doing. Of all the spies I can think of, this one jokes the most, and his mother, the lover to the head of the KGB, is actually the head of ISIS. How convenient you ask? Well, my answer to that rhetorical question is how convenient indeed. ARCHER gets the top missions from his Mom who is head of ISIS and somehow his luck gets in the way of the bad guys. I'm not denying the fact that he's good in close combat and with guns, it's like the villains of his time send unskilled thugs and hitman squads after him and the only thing they achieve at the end of the day is to shoot squat. In ARCHER’s mind the joke is on everyone in the world because of his never ending jokes about everyone besides himself but surprisingly that doesn't get him killed anywhere, even by his co-workers or his mother to say the least.

These spies have something in common: they work for one agency and they are known almost all over the world. However, NICK FURY doesn't just work for these two SPY agencies at the same time, SHIELD and X-PROGRAM, neither of each know the existence of the other nor have knowledge of his three lives. He also leads them. I know right? How in the world can he juggle two massive and high secretive spy agencies without either of them learning of the existence of the other? Does he have a twin? A double?

We will discuss the REALITY ABOUT MOVIES as a separate crazyfilm theory. But Long theory short, the least known spy in the world is the deadliest of them all. In other words, the spy with less movie/camera time is the least known spy of them all. So clearly BOND JAMES BOND, by this definition, is not the ultimate spy.

Firstly, let's discuss the fact that he heads two spy agencies, which are somehow oblivious of one's existence to the other.

 We first catch a glimpse of him in the X-Program at the turn of the 21st century. I honestly don't know when he was appointed the head of the X-Program nor how many agents were under his command. What I do know with absolute certainty is that he had one of their best agents at his command, XXX. Yes it's a title just like 007 James Bond. The agent's name was, is, Xander Cage. Most of you know him as Dominic Torreto but we are not gonna talk about his double life here. Spoiler alert: it's catching up to him.

Now, unlike the X-PROGRAM, the SHIELD is a more covert organization tasked with protecting the world from threats of unusual and unexplained origin. Up until 2014 he was the Director there before HYDRA rose from the shadows and nearly destroyed SHIELD from within.

If you need more information on the above agencies then you need to watch all the XXX movies and Marvel content from 2008 up until today.

So am I biased to announce that Nick, wherever he is, the winner of the Ultimate Spy contest? Let me know down in the comments below. And no, Agent 47 doesn't qualify to be in this contest because he is no spy.

See you on the next one.

Jack Bauer Retires - To The White House

Jack Bauer is one of the most 'decorated' servicemen the United States has ever had. He devoted his entire adult life to the COUNTER Terrorist Unit (CTU) fighting terrorists, both foreign and domestic. And it goes without saying that the CTU has been doing a good job neutralizing 9/11-level terror attacks throughout his career as a CTU Director of Operations.

Interesting theory: I think the CTU was formed solely because of the horrific 9/11 attack on US soil. It also makes such perfect sense considering it was given the mandate to carry out their objective my any means necessary. I'm talking about torture. If this is true do you understand what this means? It would mean the 9/11 attack also took place in Jack Bauer's reality, and the govt in our reality may have thought about forming our own version of CTU within the US borders but CHOSE not to go through with it. The United States should be thankful none of the terror attacks in Jack's reality were perpetrated in ours. I know it's just a theory, but you get the idea.

Enough rumbling on. Back to Jack. He eventually lost his job along with everything else he had, CTU was disbanded and reformed under a new mandate, the FBI mandate. And the last time I saw Jack 3 years ago was when he was been shipped to a Russian prison, where I thought he would never see the light of day.

But have you ever would wondered what it would be like if something was done differently? Have you wondered what would have happened if he just started a new life and leave his old one behind before he got mixed up with the Russians? Have you ever wondered what would have happened if he never became a serviceman?

Well what if I tell you that I have found a reality whose version of Jack Bauer was a politician, a designated survivor, and ontop of that he eventually became the President of the United States? Yes you heard me: he's now Mr President. 

Not by genuine choice but then it is what it is.

He was named the Designated Survivor to lead the country in the event that the entire US govt gets destroyed. Unfortunately there was a terror attack and their entire govt, gathered under one roof, was destroyed and he had to become President of the United States due to formality. There was simply no one left. And I must say he has been doing surprisingly well by himself, all things considered.

He's still the man who doesn't want to take shortcuts to get things done. He's still staying true to himself and he's not letting Presidential power corrupt him. I'm just glad that after his history of great service to his country unlike anyone who's ever lived, Rick Sanchez included, in the end he gets to be President of the Free world. It totally feels like it's the perfect time for a Series Finale of 24. But reality goes on.

As much as I would want to not mention this I have to. In another reality, where he was a serviceman, he would not be President had the old CTU not be disbanded. They were experts in dealing and averting terror attacks of that magnitude. But what's done is done and there's nothing gained in pointing fingers.

I have always wondered which version of me is rich. It's definitely not this one! But if by any chance that rich me reads this blog, be sure to leave a comment below, along with your space number, email, Skype (you still use that over there, right?) and Facebook page!

So glad we could journey into different realities with you. See you on the next one. And don't forget to use that comments section below.

The Rise Of Eye-patch Morty

Rick Sanchez has been a very very bad grandpa. He needs no introduction here on his capabilities and his rap sheet spanning out through multiple realities. He has ruined lives, destroyed entire worlds, and it seems he's nowhere near retirement. Now it goes without saying that he has made enemies every reality he has set foot on. But of all his enemies I was actually surprised to learn that there's a Morty out there who's one of them. And that Morty may just be one of the smartest Mortys in the universe.

Yes. I'm talking about Eye-patch Morty. We have always known Mortys to be the funnest people in the entire universe, as Rick C-137 once explained to us the reason why every Rick wants a Morty sidekick. Because the Morty-waves cancel out the brain waves of his Rick, thereby making it impossible to track Ricks with their district brain waves.

We last saw Eye-patch Morty when he assembled with all the rest of the Mortys who were freed from that unspeakable prison which he created to hide his brain waves and that of his robot Rick.

And for these past 2 years he has been planning a comeback and it would make sense for him to assume a position of power and of highest authority so that he can finally be untouchable. Enter the Presidential candidate Morty. We all know it's not by accident that this Morty actually won the election when even his campaign manager thought he was wasting his time. In fact, I was quite surprised to see a Morty actually win the race, knowing he is one of the funnest people occupying the Citadel. Or was he?

This shows us that he's patience, crazy patient. Everyone thought he was gonna lose. Even the news reporters made fun of him because it seemed impossible to have a President Morty in the Citadel.

We are probably dealing with the smartest Morty we have ever seen. And when you take that into consideration you'll understand why two years ago, in the last episode of Season 1, why he needed all those Mortys' brain waves to hide. Earlier in the episode Rick C-137 explains why every Rick has a Morty. It's far too easy to track down Rick due to his highly unique brain waves because of his genius. The Morty waves cancel out the Rick waves, thereby making him harder to track. It stands to reason that he used the same principle but on a bigger scale to effectively drown his brain waves and that of his Rick in the Morty waves.

But that happened 2 years ago and up to this day Rick C-137 still hasn't had the slightest knowledge of what really happened that day, nor does he know that his enemy has set foot and planted roots in the Citadel.

But something tells me that it won't be long before President Morty finds Rick and makes him pay.

And while I sign off I am still wondering what Rick C-137 did to this Morty to deserve such hatred. And also who is this Morty? Where did they cross paths ? Dot hesitate to leave your thoughts in the comments below.

See you on the next one.

CALVIN THE MARTIAN

Yes. Aliens do exist. If not in our reality then in this one we are discussing.

If there is a deadly and most intelligent alien the humans have ever faced, it's gonna be Calvin.

So we see this Martian creature in the movie LIFE which was released earlier on this year.

Now, if you have not watched this movie then be prepared for some spoilers and easter eggs.

Scientists aboard the INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION discover cells from a Martian rock, the cell that eventually dooms the entire crew and Planet Earth. Now, as always there are some things that you may not have noticed in this movie so I would like to point them out to you.

1.Miranda North is actually a deep cover MI5 agent we all know as Ilsa.

Yes people. She is not a scientist from Great Britain, however she is still on the payroll of MI5. We all watched MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 5: ROGUE NATION right?

 If you did then you know that Ilsa retired from Her Majesty's Secret Service. OR DID SHE? If she "retired" on 2015, and appears on the ISS in 2017,  has she been a deep cover agent as a British scientist for the past two years? Well yes; after learning that there was a secret mission to prove life existence on Mars, it makes perfect sense for MI5 to put eyes and ears on the ISS. 

2. THE D.E.O WILL HAVE THEIR HANDS FULL IN SUPERGIRL SEASON 3

So Ilsa becomes Miranda North the very same year that J'onzz (Supergirl Season 1) divulges to others his story about his escape from Mars (escape happened 50 years ago from 2015)?

That is no coincidence, considering the confidence that the US govt has after dealing with the aliens from the Phantom Zone for the a few years. So two years later the US govt goes behind J'onzz' back to explore life on Mars; and Ilsa (Miranda) is one of the scientists for the mission. Regrettably at the end of the movie CALVIN lands on Earth while Miranda's capsule floats away into deep space. Where are the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY when you need them.

3. DEADPOOL 2 (2018) IS STILL SCHEDULED FOR RELEASE NEXT YEAR

DEADPOOL? Seriously though. DEADPOOL wasn't fun enough and you had to go play the astronaut?

That's being too overconfident. And I can tell you tried your best to not to do a fourth wall break. I'm not judging though. I hope you don't die in the movie before you shoot DEADPOOL 2. Hmm and why did I hope that, obviously you can't die. But you can pretend to be. Oh, and good job on the role you they gave you. But this seriously proves to me that you have got a lot of time on your hands.

4. THANOS IS A TRUE COWARD

THANOS continues to send amateurs after the Infinity Stones but can somebody please ask him why he is sending people who constantly fail him? Why not do it himself? 

I know at the AGE OF ULTRON movie he says he will "do it himself", but please. We, at least I, know why he  said it. 2015 is the year where people of the world learn about the last GREEN MARTIAN, J'onzz, and the war he solely escaped fifty years ago. So that meant no more CALVIN-KIND aliens now. Well, true, at least before CALVIN escapes the astronaut capsule two years later (2017). So trust me when I say that AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR will be the ultimate war against the true enemy of the universe, CALVIN.

5. RICK SANCHEZ KNOWS THE FUTURE

Now before you say RICK & MORTY timelines don't fit with any of the above mentioned movies, it is worth noting that even though there is great display of technology on the show, most of that tech belongs to RICK. So the lack of other smart tech besides Rick's allows me to place the show in the 90's. But Jerry mentions iPad on Season 1 Episode 3 so we are forced to place the show post-2010.

With that said, Rick has actually gone and seen a future where humans have advanced to a point where the medicine literally heals anything instantly. Now I am no expert but such technology would have to have existed somewhere, or at least in another creature, and would have to be adapted to the human body. CALVIN feeds and grows instantly. Now to me this "miracle medicine" could have been adapted from CALVIN's ability to multiply his cells after feeding. And this is entirely hypothetical, but we are talking about the future so anything is possible. But even if Rick knows the future it's not like he cares enough to warn us about opening the "Martian Pandora's Box".

There are many things that i am gonna continue to point out in this blog concerning the movies we all love. But that's it for now. Will catch you later on the next NEW CRAZY FILM THEORY.